[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
with you."
238
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
After his relief at seeing Scott at school and their
affectionate reunion, Derek hadn't considered that their
distance from each other would only be marginally reduced
now that he was back. "I know. I appreciate you saying so
though. We'll figure it out somehow, right?"
Scott took Derek's hand. "I hope so. My dad can make
things very difficult for me if I don't give him what he wants.
The best thing that could happen is that I bring up my
calculus grade quickly. Then things can go back to normal."
Scott released Derek's hand and stared at his lap. "I hate that
I don't have my cell phone. My dad even said he didn't want
me using the internet, so we can't even chat on AIM or
anything." Scott punched his leg. "This sucks."
Derek felt his stomach begin to churn. Not only would they
see less of each other, but their two main methods of
communication were cut off as well. He reminded himself that
it wouldn't help things to complain. "Like you said. Once you
get your calculus grade up everything will go back to normal."
He sounded much more hopeful than he was feeling.
"Right. I really am sorry Derek. It's not fair that this has to
affect you too." Scott stared through the windshield with a
blank expression on his face.
Scott's misery was written all over his face and Derek
wanted to erase it. This was his father's fault and Scott had
enough to deal with, without feeling guilty about how Derek
was affected by his punishment. "Scott, I know you're not
just making up excuses or brushing me off. I'm not going to
pretend that this doesn't suck, because it does, but I
understand." When Scott didn't look at him, Derek took his
239
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
hand and pulled him close. Scott looked at him with bleary
eyes, brimming with tears that were on the verge of spilling
down his cheeks. "Don't worry so much. This is something
you can't control. Don't let it rule you. Do what you need to
do. If I can help, I will."
Scott's eyes opened as if he had just thought of
something. "I said something like that to you on the day of
the Lexington meet when we were looking at the water. I
forgot all about that."
Derek smiled, knowing full well where this advice had
come from. "It was a good message. Don't forget it." Scott
needed to remember the water under the bridge. He needed
to remember that there was only so much that he could
control and not to let the things he couldn't control affect him.
Leaning toward Scott, he gave him a soft kiss. When Scott
got out of the car, he called after him. "See you tomorrow."
Scott waved and shut the door.
[Back to Table of Contents]
240
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
Chapter 15
Over the next few days, the temperature dropped
significantly with a cold front sweeping in from the north.
That, combined with shorter days and the heavy cloud cover,
caused a sullen atmosphere to settle in throughout the
school.
Derek's routine had shifted once again since they had
returned from winter break. He was still picking Scott up
before school and dropping him off after practice, but without
spending the time with him after practice in his attic, he felt
listless. He and Scott had found moments to escape during
the day, particularly between the end of school and before
practice, but the moments were fleeting and didn't provide
enough time for them to really connect the way they had
before winter break. More than anything, that was what
Derek missed.
To take his mind off things, Derek spent most nights
listening to music and mixing songs. Wanting to veer away
from the typical dance songs he usually mixed, he began
downloading music with ambient, mellower beats and sounds.
Groups like Enya and Supreme Beings of Leisure served as his
muse.
Derek was listening to a record that contained relaxing
beats, which created a tranquil atmosphere, when his
attention was jolted from what he was doing by a knock on
the attic door. Turning to see who it was, he was surprised to
see Beck standing there. He hadn't spoken to Beck since her
241
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
outburst a few days earlier and their separation felt like an
impenetrable wall between them. She looked timid, a look
that Derek had never seen on her before. "May I come in? I'm
not interrupting you am I?"
Derek turned the volume down on the record player and
walked to the couch. "Come on in. I didn't know you were
coming." Beck walked into the attic and hovered around the
couch. She was playing with the strap of her purse and
wouldn't look him directly in the eye. Both confused and
intrigued by this unprecedented behavior, Derek patted the
empty space next to him on the couch. "Sit." [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl wyciskamy.pev.pl
with you."
238
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
After his relief at seeing Scott at school and their
affectionate reunion, Derek hadn't considered that their
distance from each other would only be marginally reduced
now that he was back. "I know. I appreciate you saying so
though. We'll figure it out somehow, right?"
Scott took Derek's hand. "I hope so. My dad can make
things very difficult for me if I don't give him what he wants.
The best thing that could happen is that I bring up my
calculus grade quickly. Then things can go back to normal."
Scott released Derek's hand and stared at his lap. "I hate that
I don't have my cell phone. My dad even said he didn't want
me using the internet, so we can't even chat on AIM or
anything." Scott punched his leg. "This sucks."
Derek felt his stomach begin to churn. Not only would they
see less of each other, but their two main methods of
communication were cut off as well. He reminded himself that
it wouldn't help things to complain. "Like you said. Once you
get your calculus grade up everything will go back to normal."
He sounded much more hopeful than he was feeling.
"Right. I really am sorry Derek. It's not fair that this has to
affect you too." Scott stared through the windshield with a
blank expression on his face.
Scott's misery was written all over his face and Derek
wanted to erase it. This was his father's fault and Scott had
enough to deal with, without feeling guilty about how Derek
was affected by his punishment. "Scott, I know you're not
just making up excuses or brushing me off. I'm not going to
pretend that this doesn't suck, because it does, but I
understand." When Scott didn't look at him, Derek took his
239
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
hand and pulled him close. Scott looked at him with bleary
eyes, brimming with tears that were on the verge of spilling
down his cheeks. "Don't worry so much. This is something
you can't control. Don't let it rule you. Do what you need to
do. If I can help, I will."
Scott's eyes opened as if he had just thought of
something. "I said something like that to you on the day of
the Lexington meet when we were looking at the water. I
forgot all about that."
Derek smiled, knowing full well where this advice had
come from. "It was a good message. Don't forget it." Scott
needed to remember the water under the bridge. He needed
to remember that there was only so much that he could
control and not to let the things he couldn't control affect him.
Leaning toward Scott, he gave him a soft kiss. When Scott
got out of the car, he called after him. "See you tomorrow."
Scott waved and shut the door.
[Back to Table of Contents]
240
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
Chapter 15
Over the next few days, the temperature dropped
significantly with a cold front sweeping in from the north.
That, combined with shorter days and the heavy cloud cover,
caused a sullen atmosphere to settle in throughout the
school.
Derek's routine had shifted once again since they had
returned from winter break. He was still picking Scott up
before school and dropping him off after practice, but without
spending the time with him after practice in his attic, he felt
listless. He and Scott had found moments to escape during
the day, particularly between the end of school and before
practice, but the moments were fleeting and didn't provide
enough time for them to really connect the way they had
before winter break. More than anything, that was what
Derek missed.
To take his mind off things, Derek spent most nights
listening to music and mixing songs. Wanting to veer away
from the typical dance songs he usually mixed, he began
downloading music with ambient, mellower beats and sounds.
Groups like Enya and Supreme Beings of Leisure served as his
muse.
Derek was listening to a record that contained relaxing
beats, which created a tranquil atmosphere, when his
attention was jolted from what he was doing by a knock on
the attic door. Turning to see who it was, he was surprised to
see Beck standing there. He hadn't spoken to Beck since her
241
Wrestling With Desire
by D.H. Starr
outburst a few days earlier and their separation felt like an
impenetrable wall between them. She looked timid, a look
that Derek had never seen on her before. "May I come in? I'm
not interrupting you am I?"
Derek turned the volume down on the record player and
walked to the couch. "Come on in. I didn't know you were
coming." Beck walked into the attic and hovered around the
couch. She was playing with the strap of her purse and
wouldn't look him directly in the eye. Both confused and
intrigued by this unprecedented behavior, Derek patted the
empty space next to him on the couch. "Sit." [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]